one might say we're banned from that church
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
