This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
