someone get that fucking seahorse.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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