cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
