that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
