I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
