could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
