All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
