I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
