i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
