You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
