I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
