She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
that may or may not have been my penis.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
