Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
