By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
