ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
