If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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