so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
