you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
