normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
