She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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