Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
