Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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