her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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