Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
