I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
