just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
