I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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