Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
