You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
