What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
