Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
