Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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