I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
