shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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