Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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