dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
