it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
