our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
