If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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