So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
