Why does Corona taste like a burp?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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