he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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