party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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