why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
