Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
