take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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