oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
