sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize