My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
